Sunday, 16 August 2015


01:06:00 0
Hello there!

          So I know I'm three days late with this but I really wanted to do an actual post about results day despite it being one of the most nerve wrenching days of my life. I mentioned on my last post that it is scary because you work you're whole life, up to now, in school and then you get you your final year of college doing A levels and that last results day is what the rest of your life depends on. It's not a nice feeling to know how much lies on your shoulder for that day, at all.
           Here's the part you may be waiting for, my actual grades. In performing arts I got double distinction*, in my EPQ I got and A* (thank you thank you thank you so much for all the help you gave me along the way!), and then in both drama and math I got a B. My initial thoughts weren't the most happiest I'll admit. I am a perfectionist so I always wanted straight A's. Unfortunately that isn't always what will happen. I was convinced that after the last two maths exams I would probably come out with C or D, however I was almost over the moon to find out that I had actually come out with 2 A's and 4 B's in maths giving the overall B that I was quite happy with in the end. The grade I was most disappointed in was my drama. One of the subjects I have worked my ass off throughout my entire life has always been drama. I did and my teachers say so too. However, drama is one of those subjects were the examined parts are done by an external examiner and there are no specific yes or no answers and your final mark could you show how the examiner was feeling on the day. She or he may or may not have liked your style of acting and yet a whole room full of people may still love it. It's difficult to impress someone who is likely there to be unimpressed. When it came to the written exam, I was prepared more than I was for any other exam and more than I had ever been for anything. It was rather disappointing for me to see the B when I had so desperately wanted an A. Turns out though that, once again, idiot examiners have dropped everyone's marks and not given everyone what they do actually deserve. The government need to sort out the education system so that students are able to achieve what they work for. Overall, I have decided I am quite proud of my result because I am able to say that I achieved 600 UCAS points, that includes the B in Media Studies at AS I got last year! If you don't know, 600 UCAS points is way over average and is enough to get me into one of the top universities. I'm not saying that to boast but to show what hard work can do and although I didn't get what I want, I still managed to show the hard work that I had done.
          The main point of this post is to say that I know many people will be disappointed in their results as it gets harder and harder every year. Something needs to be done about that so I hope that there are some of you out there who wish to go into the education system, whether that's teaching or politics, please know it will be up to you to help sort out how your own children are taught and examined and eventually what they achieve. Personally I think they should employ more people to mark each paper or performance to give an average score or something along the lines, somehow. If you are disappointed in your grades, maybe you're having to change universities, there is no need to let it stop you from getting to where you want to be. There are thousands of universities out there or alternative routes for you to take that can still get you to the place you want to be. Maybe you aren't supposed to take that subject or maybe you're supposed to be somewhere else at this certain point in your life. These days a lot of people disregard you if you haven't been to uni but they often forget to tell you that they most likely haven't been or at least many of their friends and family didn't. A surprising amount of people don't go or haven't been to university and they still become successful. Google it and I promise you that you'll find some of your idols on that list. More commonly, you'll find that people find their way without realising but everyone will be having these thoughts. Are they really supposed to be doing this? You may go to uni and hate it and find you have to drop out. If you do, then I respect you for admitting it and doing something about it. If you are happy with what you got then congratulations! But everyone deserves a congratulations! CONGRATULATIONS!
          I now have the year ahead of me to figure things out and I have already said how much that scares me but I know others will be scared too, and because of different situations regarding the next step in their life. It's a difficult time in our lives but we have to push through it to find out where we'll be next and I guess that's the most exciting part about it. It's scary but exciting! Hopefully you'll be following my journey via this blog and my YouTube channel but I'd like to know how your journeys go, so let me know through any of my social media (I'll leave all my links at the bottom) and if I know you personally then please don't forget me and keep in contact to let me know how you're doing.

        Finally, I'd like to say good luck to all of you! You now all have a wonderful future ahead of you, whether it seems like it right now or not. A lot of you will be struggling, my previous post shows that I most definitely am, but we've got to push through it. So I wish you all the best of luck in whatever you may be doing!

        Thank you for all your support along the way! I will be back soon with more posts and videos!

        Thank you so much!
      - KC xx



Friday, 14 August 2015

Pre-GapYear Depression

15:00:00 1
Hi all!

         No matter how easy blogging can be and how many ideas I have got to write about, I still find it incredibly difficult to post. The main reason being that to actually write anything, I have to be in the right mood and I have found that difficult recently. This post could get a little personal but I'm going to post it anyway because there may be a bunch of you going through the same thing or maybe you are just really nosy and want to know more about my life. Here goes:

          As you should know by now, I am taking a gap year. But what you may not know (I'm not sure if I have already mentioned it in a previous post) is that throughout my life I have always been driven by the dreams and aspirations I have and I always wanted to go straight to university because it would mean that I am one step closer. Choosing to not go to university this for me was a very difficult decision but it also seemed like the obvious answer considering how hard I have worked and the fact that I am determined to study the course that I want and not just some other course I get offered. Although it's nice to know I am finally going to get the break that I have been needing, in which I can do all sorts of stuff I have been wanting to do for ages, I have been struggling to come to terms with the fact that I have no fixed plans, and for me that is horrible. I'm the sort of person who like to have everything organised so I know exactly what I am doing and what I need but the fact that I have a whole year ahead of me frightens me. I do need a job and trust me, I am trying so hard. So far I am getting nowhere with that. I have been shortlisted for a few jobs but I still haven't heard anything else. All these things that I want to do keep getting put off until I finally feel more secure in what I'm doing. I either can't do things until I've earned some money or I don't feel like I can because if I start something I won't be able to get into any kinda of routine and when I do, I'll forget about that thing. It's a vicious cycle and I don't like it. It's really getting me down. Among other things.
           In the UK, it was also A level results day yesterday which was nerve wrecking enough. Over the past week everyone has been counting down the days creating more and more nervous suspense. I had no idea how it was going to go and found it to be my worst ever results day. The actual results weren't bad but in comparison to every other results day I've had, it was the worst build up and I put it down to the fact that it was my last one and a lot of things depend on it. Being around people who were now so sure of what they are going to do in September made me incredibly jealous and I would even go as far as to say I was heartbroken, no matter how good my results were. It was probably one of the hardest days I have ever had to suffer through and even now as I type this out, I'm finding it difficult to hold back the tears. I did cry, multiple times, and then a whole lot when I was finally alone in my room at night. Many of my friends will be leaving come September, including my boyfriend and that honestly causes my mind and heart to shatter. I don't know how I will cope with it and that unknown scare the sh*ts out of me. I hate it. Yesterday was the day when everything kind of kicked in. I have no university place, no job, my boyfriend will be off on his own in 5 weeks time, I still can't legally drive, I have nowhere to go and I'm constantly stuck at home. Being someone who wants to travel and explore the world, nine times out of ten I feel trapped with the four walls that make up my own bedroom. I feel claustrophobic. This is definitely getting personal now but I'm sure there is someone else out there who is possibly going through the same thing. It is not a pleasant feeling.
         So, all in all, I have recently been feel rather down not giving me any kind of motivation to write any blog posts just in case something personal like this one happens. Making YouTube videos isn't as bad because being a drama student, I find it easier to act happier but when it comes to writing things down, everything starts to flow out. What I feel like I really need is some time spent with the people that make me the happiest and some time spent away visiting other places, at least then I won't feel like this summer holidays has been wasted as much as it already has been.

Not got much more to say. Well, I probably do but I best get it to myself. I have been posting YouTube videos regularly so please do go check them out if you haven't already!

And I have also created a Facebook page that you can like in order to keep updated with everything I do and upload so if you could go like that, that would really help me spread the word!

Thank you!
See you later and soon with more blog posts and more YouTube videos!
-KC x