Hi there! I warn you, this could become a long post but if you do manage to read it all, I'd really appreciate it! If not then skip...

Life Changing Decisions

Hi there!

I warn you, this could become a long post but if you do manage to read it all, I'd really appreciate it! If not then skip to the bold, enlarged writing!

Over the past two years I feel like I have been through an incredibly confusing emotional whirlwind. This time last year I had just finished college and been on holiday with my boyfriend, Edmond, and I knew that I was not planning on going to university. At least not until the next year. I've had my blog for quite some time now and although I have only really just started focusing on it, I did post last year and around the time I was going through a lot of struggles. You can read my posts here and here.

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I had always had my life planned out, I was one of those people. I knew what high school I wanted to go to and then expected to stay at my high school's sixth form. That was the first change I made. I went elsewhere to a different college. Cardinal Newman College, to be exact. CNC was placed in the top 1% nationally so I knew that going there would guarantee me the highest of educations and I genuinely think it did. It was the perfect place for me. I made loads of friends, got to perform in some fantastic plays and shows and I really did have the best time. It was the best decision I could have made regarding my A-levels. I still miss not being there and all my teachers!

I then expected I'd go straight on to university, studying drama so I could become an actor. I then begun to realise that to become a fully well-rounded actor and to have the best education, my next step was to apply for drama school, but I knew how difficult it is to even get to the second round. I did apply and went to all of my auditions but I don't believe that my heart was in it. First year of college I took on the equivalent of 5 subjects (the average being 4) and then I dropped one for second year and took up my EPQ (extended project qualification). This required a lot of extra studying outside of college and by the time I had completed just about everything, I was knackered. My body and mind were completely drained. I did spend most of my college life stressed out because I tend to give myself too much work to do. A gap year seemed like the perfect way for me to finally relax and recharge.

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Considering you're supposed to start thinking about filling in your UCAS application around August/September, I wasn't planning on even looking at it until I had a sudden realisation whilst at work that I didn't want to be stuck at home, late October. I got it all filled out, ready to apply for drama schools again and got everything paid for. UCAS itself costs £23 to apply for 5 courses but some drama schools make you apply straight to them. I applied for 7 altogether. Each one costs between £45 to £65 just for an audition and the with travelling to and from these auditions, it started to add up, immensely. After this, driving lessons, and Christmas presents, I was left with £5 in my bank account. Come February, I was due to go down to London for an audition. The Premier Inn was booked for a two-night stay in Essex but I was having second thoughts. I had done two auditions already but I wasn't feeling ready for my next 5. Eventually I made the decision to not go at all. Instead we went for a day out in London. I much preferred that!

Earlier this year I was going through an incredibly tough time mentally. I often find it hard to talk about because not many people know what went on. I got through it as I started to blog more and began to have more of a clue as to what I wanted to do with my life. I had plans to travel, hopefully get a new job at a travel agents, focus on my blog, and then eventually move to a city like Manchester. The moving out part wouldn't have happened until at least next year but the idea of it helped me stay motivated.

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I went to Crete and came back remaining at my current job as I was going away in June too. I would put off thinking about new jobs, new this and that, until I was officially back from Mexico. When I was back and I got the odd day off from work, I realised it was about time I started to think about what I want to do. I enjoy blogging and want to improve and grow my blog so much more but if I got a new full-time job I might not have enough time to continue with my blog. Especially when I was so adamant that I wouldn't get a job unless it would help me in my career (performing or travelling). I was starting to get panicky again.

I rarely get to spend time with Ed as he did go to uni and when he is home, he's living with his Mum, an hours drive away. It all got me thinking about the things I do want in life and the things I have always wanted.

Things I've always wanted in my life:
- A good education.
- Qualifications.
- Something to work on.
- A career I enjoy.

To get into my first choice career (performing) I really do believe that drama school is the best way about it but I don't feel ready for that. You can go at any stage in your life though. Many people who have become successful actors and went to drama school had already been to university and got a degree.

Here comes the life changing decision that I've made:

I have decided to go to university!

You had probably figured out where this post was heading if you read it all but yes, I have officially decided to go to university! If everything goes to plan, then hopefully in September I shall be moving to Hull to study Drama and Theatre Practice at the University of Hull! I feel like it is the best decision I could make right now! Why?

Well, because...

1. I get to study a subject that I have a great interest in.

2. I have great flexibility in the course to choose my study route.

3. I can still go to drama school later if I want to.

4. I get to move out and be independent.

5. It will probably work out that I do around 9 hours a week which leaves me time to get a part-time job and keep on blogging.

6. I shall be getting a degree (a qualification)!

7. Ed also studies Drama and Theatre Practice at the University of Hull

Some of you are probably thinking now that I've only applied for it because Ed is there. I admit that I probably wouldn't have looked at Hull had he not been there but really it's just an added bonus. Originally I was so against his uni and even going to uni because I was worried about using up my student finances before possibly going to drama school but I can work that out later. At first I didn't like his uni because when I went for three nights I got a bad first impression. In particular his halls were horrible compared to many I had seen before. He also lived 3 and a half miles away from campus so had to get the bus for half an hour each way! After a lot of confusion, worry and thinking, I decided to still apply there in the hope that I can try for the on campus, en-suite accommodation, maybe even the brand new blocks that are being built for Sept 2016!

I am actually really excited about all this. I will be getting the education I want and I get to spend more time with Ed so it is a complete win situation. I did apply through Extra which means I am still waiting to hear if I can actually get a confirmed place. I applied on Sunday night and they have until the 13th July to respond to my application. I have more than enough UCAS points and the grades to get in so it should be ok but there is still a chance I may not be accepted but I'm keeping my fingers crossed! I applied for my student finance yesterday and I have already had the email today approving my application! Just praying I get in now! If I don't then everything will have to be reconsidered but for now, I'm planning for university! I already have a board going on Pinterest!

I actually can't contain my excitement but I'm trying my best! I shall let you know how everything goes and until then I'm on a shopping ban so I don't buy anything that could jinx it! If I get in then off to IKEA I go! And probably B&Ms! I will need to go clothes shopping too! I will get to do university diaries if I get in, woo!

Wish me luck!
 - KC xx

UPDATE: I got in! 
I had plans to let you know the result in another post but only a few hours after publishing this post, I got an UNCONDITIONAL OFFER. It's only been three days since I applied too! I'm so excited now to be able to spend this summer getting everything ready! Uni diaries will be coming soon, I guess! See you then!

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